Give Yourself Grace

Rest doesn't have to be earned.

It's already yours.

This week, I forgot to write my blog. I forgot the newsletter too. First time since I started writing in a routine, a Monday came and went and I missed it completely.

And that’s okay.

I mean it. Everything is ok. 💜💚

It was a full week. I found a new way to get my message out and several widows reached out around the same time. Each of them needing support with her grief that is stead. So that’s where I was. Sitting with them. Listening. Helping them find their footing in a life none of us asked for.

I’m so blessed. I love this work more than I know how to say, and when the week filled up, the blog and newsletter and the while entire pattern slipped my mind. Poof! Now, I could tell you it’s okay because I had a good reason. I was helping people.

But grace isn’t only for the good reasons.

A lot of us have that backwards. I know I did for a long time. I treated grace like something i had to qualify for, like my excuses had to be worthy enough. I forgot that Grace is ax gift needing no expectations. I thought because I was helping widows, so that one counts. But what if I’d forgotten because I was tired? Or sad, and I spent the day in the hammock, and I just couldn’t? Does grace still apply?

It does. Grace you have to earn isn’t grace. It’s a reward. Grace is what you give yourself whether the reason is justified or not.

And widows are so hard on ourselves. You stayed in bed till noon. You snapped at someone. You cried in the cereal aisle and left the cart. And then you pile shame on top of the grief you’re already carrying. I should be handling this better. I should be keeping up.

Give yourself grace instead. Not because you have a good excuse. Because you’re a person doing something very hard. You’re allowed to drop things. You’re allowed to forget. You’re allowed to have a week where the ball rolls off the table and you don’t have it in you to chase it. That doesn’t make you a failure. It makes you human.

Grace is the best self-care there is. We hear self-care and picture bubble baths and face masks. Those are lovely. But they don’t touch the thing that really wears us down, which is the quiet way we beat ourselves up. You can soak in the tub and be cruel to yourself the whole time. Grace reaches the real wound.

So whatever you dropped this week, set the shame down next to it and leave them both there. Give yourself grace. For the good reasons, the not-so-good ones, or no reason at all, except that you’re still here, still carrying more than anyone can see.

That’s what I’m doing this week. My blog was late, and I’m giving myself grace for it. I hope you’ll do the same for whatever you’re holding today.

If you’ve been hard on yourself and could use a soft place to set the weight down, you don’t have to do it alone. Schedule a free Holding the Ember call whenever you’re ready.