What to Do When Food and Sleep Stop Making Sense

After loss, the basics of life can fall apart. Eating, drinking water, resting — all the things that once came naturally — can feel impossible. You might wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling for hours. You might look at food and feel nothing. The body that once felt familiar becomes something strange.

Grief scrambles your internal system. It interrupts hunger and sleep because your brain is trying to make sense of something it cannot fix. Many widows find that they forget to eat or cannot stop crying long enough to swallow a bite. Others find they eat without tasting, or they sleep all day because being awake hurts too much. However it shows up for you, it makes sense. Your body is responding to the shock of loss.

The first step is not to force yourself to be fine. You do not need to return to old routines right away. Start small. Keep something simple within reach — crackers, fruit, a warm drink. You may not finish it, but your body will notice that you are trying. That small act is a form of care.

When it comes to rest, focus on creating the conditions for sleep rather than the outcome. Turn off bright lights earlier than usual. Lower the noise around you. Let yourself sit quietly before bed, even if sleep does not come. Sometimes your body needs to relearn that the night can be a place of rest instead of fear.

If the house feels too quiet, try soft sounds — music, an audiobook, the hum of a fan. Your nervous system is trying to find rhythm again, and these small cues can help. You might also find that short naps during the day bring more relief than long nights spent waiting for sleep that will not come.

There is no right schedule in grief. There is only your body, trying to survive something it never asked for. Be patient with it. Trust that hunger will return in its own time and that sleep will find its way back when your body feels safe enough to rest.

These basic needs may not feel important when everything else has fallen apart, but tending to them helps rebuild your strength piece by piece. Each glass of water, each bite of food, each moment of stillness says, “I am still here.”

If you are struggling to care for your body in this new reality, you do not have to face it alone. You can schedule a Holding the Ember conversation — a free 45-minute call where we can talk about ways to steady yourself when everything feels uncertain.