Every Day Is Hard. Even the Special Ones.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

Gary loved the 4th of July. He looked forward to it all year. He planned the barbecue, the water fights, the fireworks. He turned into a big kid. He called himself a "playbabe," and on the 4th of July, he was the biggest playbabe you ever saw.

It was his holiday. He invited the family over. He made it special.

So now, when the 4th of July comes around, my mind wants to say, This is going to be a horrible day because Gary isn’t here.

But the truth is... every day is hard. It isn’t just holidays or anniversaries. It’s every single day without him. This Tuesday hurts. Next Wednesday hurts too.

We put so much meaning on these "special days." We tell ourselves that certain days are supposed to be the happiest or the most fun. And then we feel like we fail when we can’t make them feel that way anymore.

But what if the day itself doesn’t have meaning until we give it meaning?

I can choose to see the 4th of July as the day Gary isn’t here, and yes, that is true. But I can also remember that he was here. That he loved this day so much he made it unforgettable. That his joy was real.

I don’t have to make the day into something it isn’t. I don’t have to force myself to be okay. I also don’t have to stay stuck in the story that this day is ruined forever.

The meaning I choose today can be simple: Gary loved this day. I love him. I miss him. And that’s all true at the same time.

We get to choose the meaning we put behind each day. Some days, the meaning might be, I survived today. Other days, it might be, I felt a small spark of joy.

Whatever it is, it’s okay.

Sending love to anyone facing a "special day" this week. Or any day at all. You’re not alone.💜💚